So here’s something unsettling for someone who is vaguely superstitious. Twice on this trip, I have bought some items at a store, and my total has come up to $6.66. First it was band-aids and beverages at a Rite-Aid in Utah, and today it was more beverages (it’s dry here) at the Old Faithful cafeteria. Does this mean that the super volcano is in fact getting ready to take us out? Is it my magic elbow (see New Orleans trip) up to no good? In any case, Lizzie and I were driving to our in-park lodgings, and I said “we’d better see some animals” in a (what I thought was humorous) threatening manner, and as I uttered the words, there was a
train of cars pulled over on one side of the road (Elk) and then about ten feet further down the road (moose) and then about another fifty feet down the road on the other side. I said, again being klassy, “If that is a bison I will shit” and guess what? Bison. Luckily I didn’t say “I will shit now”, and I had some time to fulfill my bargain with the universe. One shouldn’t make promises one isn’t ready to keep. Anyway the bison was adorable, and we took some pictures of/with it, fearing that we’d be gored at any minute. I actually said “They’re so scary!” and this dude laughed at me and said “Did you say they were scary?”, all patronizing and shit. Yes, jackass, any animal which could gore you is scary. I feel a little bad because he’s probably going to get killed by a buffalo now, but that’s what he gets for being arrogant in front of the magic elbow. Related, Lizzie and I promised all sorts of exciting bathroom compromises if we get to see wolves and bears, so we’ll keep you posted. We did see some more Bison on our journey to our cabin, one which small children were playing near/around (gore city), two which were sauntering down the side of the road (the first of which had a NASTY head cold, much like myself. There was some epic snot drippage. I hate nature) and one in a pretty yellow meadow. Also, she says, sort of guiltily, we saw one from the restaurant we were eating in (it was walking around in the parking lot near the loading dock) as we enjoyed our Bison Asada. So tasty. Hope we didn’t eat the snotting buffalo. Also, Lizzie and I were discussing why some animals ventured closer to the traffic, and I decided that the park hires animal actors to engage the tourists. When Lizzie asked me what they paid in, I said Buffalo Nickles. I’ll be here all week, folks!! Or at least until tomorrow.
So here’s something unsettling for someone who is vaguely superstitious. Twice on this trip, I have bought some items at a store, and my total has come up to $6.66. First it was band-aids and beverages at a Rite-Aid in Utah, and today it was more beverages (it’s dry here) at the Old Faithful cafeteria. Does this mean that the super volcano is in fact getting ready to take us out? Is it my magic elbow (see New Orleans trip) up to no good? In any case, Lizzie and I were driving to our in-park lodgings, and I said “we’d better see some animals” in a (what I thought was humorous) threatening manner, and as I uttered the words, there was a 
train of cars pulled over on one side of the road (Elk) and then about ten feet further down the road (moose) and then about another fifty feet down the road on the other side. I said, again being klassy, “If that is a bison I will shit” and guess what? Bison. Luckily I didn’t say “I will shit now”, and I had some time to fulfill my bargain with the universe. One shouldn’t make promises one isn’t ready to keep. Anyway the bison was adorable, and we took some pictures of/with it, fearing that we’d be gored at any minute. I actually said “They’re so scary!” and this dude laughed at me and said “Did you say they were scary?”, all patronizing and shit. Yes, jackass, any animal which could gore you is scary. I feel a little bad because he’s probably going to get killed by a buffalo now, but that’s what he gets for being arrogant in front of the magic elbow. Related, Lizzie and I promised all sorts of exciting bathroom compromises if we get to see wolves and bears, so we’ll keep you posted. We did see some more Bison on our journey to our cabin, one which small children were playing near/around (gore city), two which were sauntering down the side of the road (the first of which had a NASTY head cold, much like myself. There was some epic snot drippage. I hate nature) and one in a pretty yellow meadow. Also, she says, sort of guiltily, we saw one from the restaurant we were eating in (it was walking around in the parking lot near the loading dock) as we enjoyed our Bison Asada. So tasty. Hope we didn’t eat the snotting buffalo. Also, Lizzie and I were discussing why some animals ventured closer to the traffic, and I decided that the park hires animal actors to engage the tourists. When Lizzie asked me what they paid in, I said Buffalo Nickles. I’ll be here all week, folks!! Or at least until tomorrow.
But have you seen anything really cool, like dachshunds or ferrets? Miss you
ReplyDelete5.55 a lesser we-evil?
ReplyDeleteDo you think the bison is sensitive about its rear-ended baldness? Maybe he can't see back there, and all the other bison make fun of him and he doesn't know why. Poor bison.