Gulf Coast 2009: Frequently Asked Questions

Saint Francis of Assisi is totally okay with you giving him a hi-five, in case anyone was wondering.

So we're going to be heading out to New Orleans in less than a week to start our Gulf Coast adventures, and we here at States of Snark would like to address some frequently asked questions.


Question: The Gulf Coast? In August? Don't you know it's going to be hot there?

Answer: Yes, that's how we roll. Given that it's been 60 degrees and raining for the entire summer in the Northeast, except for some odd days here and there, we're going down south for some summer synecdoche--a small part representing the whole.

Question: Don't you know what that humidity will do to your hair?

Answer: Yes. It will be epic. Forget that little kudzu problem the folks down south are having--the tentacle-like masses of hair will be nothing even John Frieda can control. Or goats. That's what they're doing for the kudzu.

Question: What about Katrina?

Answer: Who's she? No, seriously, both Lizzie and I are aware of the massively destructive hurricane that tore apart the Gulf Coast. We are aware that much of the damage hasn't been repaired. We're also aware that Fox has a horrible show dedicated to this subject called K*Ville. (The asterisk is actually a fleur-de-lis, but I can't find the symbol for that).

Question: You don't like fried food, nor do you like meat that much. What are you going to eat?

Answer: Bananas Foster. All the time, except for when we're in Memphis, where we hopefully will be able to create a BBQ versus the braces post. For those of you not in the know from my constant bitching cheerful banter, I had to get braces this July to fix a little issue I had with my jaw grinding itself to oblivion, a problem created from the braces I had when I was a kid. Anyhoo, I'm planning on taking on the best bbq Memphis has to offer, and hopefully photographic evidence will ensue.

Please feel free to ask any other questions in the space provided below.