Miscellaneous Sightings to be Filed

• There was a sign at this Travel Plaza which spelled Novelties "Noveltyies."
• We saw a sign which read "ADULT STORE XXX FACTORY OUTLET."  YOU GUYS.  WHAT IS AT THE FACTORY OUTLET?  IS IT, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE REMAINDERS OR SLIGHTLY DEFECTIVE STUFF?  GRADE D BUT EDIBLE?
• A sign at a Dallas store read "Condoms To Go!!!!"  Errrr, is there a situation when you go into that store and are like, "I'd like my condoms for here, please!"  Actually, nevermind.
• There were many, many opportunities to buy fireworks on our trip.  Our favorite location was "Wild Wilma's Fireworks."  Lizzie and I imagined that she had blown off an unfortunate body part with fire works (nipple?) and earned the money to open her store by monetizing her misfortune, perhaps in peep-show form.
• Why would we go to the pawn shop that offered "100's of GUNS!" when we could go to the pawn shop that offered "1000's of GUNS!!!"  Why so stingy with the exclamation points, pawn shop #1?
• If the sign for your town/city's zoo has a goat on it, your zoo is probably boring.  Sorry.