Italia!

Hello my friends! So as many of you may know, Lizzie and I are going to take a little side trip this year (before what is going to be an epic 50-states jaunt to Kansas) to Italy. In honor of our upcoming European travels, we thought it time to share the story of Pietro.

While in Santa Fe during our New Mexico/Colorado trip, Lizzie and I had dinner at a delicious Mexican food restaurant (I still recall the blue corn chips and salsa, fondly) and then decided to see what the Santa Fe night life had to offer. Though it wasn't snowing like it had been in Colorado, it was pretty damn cold, so we rushed down the street, when suddenly the sound of a large brass swing band caught our attention. We followed the sound, Pied Piper like, and it led us to a bar, which was sunk into the ground, sort of like with the "Cheers" bar. We went down the stairs, and were quite surprised to see that the band outnumbered the clientele. There were only three or four people, and the band played one more song, and then left (as did the rest of the clientele). Lizzie and I didn't feel like going back into the cold, and just decided to stay and gab. We made friends with the bartender, as we often do, and he even offered to share his soup with us. Spotting the Mylanta amongst the bottles, Lizzie and I declined, and boy are we glad we did.

Oddly enough, as we were sitting there, the bartender kept making phone calls, and strange men would come into the bar, give us a curious sort of look, and then disappear into a back room. Eventually, Pietro showed up. He sat down next to Lizzie, adjusted his fingerless-gloves (hobo chic) and started to talk to us.

Pietro (and honestly we weren't sure if this was his actual name, or if we made it up. It doesn't really matter, I suppose) was from Italy, very handsome, as you can see by the picture, and apparently had been hopping from port to American port, working pleasure boats for the wealthy. Lizzie finally asked him what he was doing in New Mexico (and note: he appeared to be in league somehow with the bartender, and obviously been here before) and he said (in an Italian accent)

"Oh, you know, I have been to Roswell, to, you know, see ze aliens"

(NB: I can only imitate two accents, French and occasionally Irish. When I write in Pietro's voice, imagine me doing a French accent while trying to do an Italian accent)

Lizzie goes, "Oh, aliens, huh?" (Pointed look at me). "Did you see any?"

He smiles his handsome smile. "Yes, I did. They let me take pictures. Would you like to see them?"

Lizzie nods emphatically. "Of course."

And then Pietro showed off that hilarious sense of humor we'd get to experience to the extreme a little later.

"HA HA HA HA," he said, "Zee aliens do not let you take their picture!"

BOOM, ROASTED.

Lizzie and I, properly told in quite the "Oh Snap" moment let Pietro enjoy his hilarious joke, while we enjoyed the hilarious joke that it's weirder to think that "aliens" would let you take their picture than to believe that aliens really exist.

Anyway, Pietro, ever the charmer, told us of his plans to go back to Milan. He flirty flirted, and then yelled to the bartender:

"I like these girls! Hey! Do you have anything to put in girls' drink to make them sleepy?!"

(Use the Italian accent again)

And the record, she spins off!

Oh, Pietro. I'm sure many women find the concept of date-rape drugs charming. Right. Seriously, does that work for you? We decided that it was time for us to move along, but before we did, we asked Pietro if we could take his picture (to find out if he was an alien). He decided that the picture would be much better with me in it, and as Lizzie snapped the photo, he dragged me in and made his best Duck Face, while I made my best "holy shit are you for real?" face. Then Lizzie and I ran (not walked) back to Mod Maude, giggling the giggle of the horrified for pretty much the rest of the night.

Anyway, we sort of expect that we'll run into him when we're in Italy, because that's how things work with us. We're currently checking into international laws with regards to taser imports, just in case...