The River Shannon

 It's my river, everyone!  One time I asked my Mom where she found my name, and she said it was the name of a character she liked in a book who's "eyes were as blue as the Shannon river."  Pre-pollution, I imagine.

Lizzie and I drove up from Dingle, our eventual goal being the cliffs of moher.  We followed our GPS, who eventually said, "board ferry."  We were like, "okay," as going through Limerick would've added an additional god-knows-how-many hours to our trip, and the ferries come ever 30 minutes.  You all know how much I like to touch stuff, so after the ferry crossed the river, Lizzie drove us down a terrifying cow path so I could touch the actual river.  It was a little treacherous, just like me, because it was low tide and the rocks were covered in slick algae (comparison does not extend that far) but I stuck my feet in.  Shannon-in-Shannon complete.  After accidentally smacking Lizzie in the head with my camera (it's probably because she found a rock shaped like the devil--THE POWER OF CAMERA COMPELS YOU) we continued on our way to the cliffs.


Just a little info on the River Shannon.  It's the longest river in Ireland, and cuts off the West from the East and the South.  It is named after a woman named Sionnan, who went to Connla's Well to seek herself some wisdom.  Because as we all know, women get punished for seeking wisdom, she, having caught and eaten the salmon of wisdom, was carried away to sea when the well's water burst forth.  Now Sionnan is the goddess of the river, and gives life to the land.  I would be much more vengeful than this if I were a goddess.  This is important to keep in mind. As you all know, I am a feminist killjoy, and it must be noted that when the male warrior-hero-hunter Fionn mac Cumhaill ingested the salmon of wisdom, he was imbued with its powers.  No instant death punishment for him.  Check out the comic entitled "also it is my personal fetish."

The River Shannon is also supposedly home to Cata, a river monster "with a horse's mane, gleaming eyes, thick feet, nails of iron and a whale's tail."  As far as I know, I am not home to any river monsters, but sometimes I get super bad heart burn if I eat doughnuts.  Just thought you'd like to know.