Dexter is cheating on me with Lizzie. Did they think I wouldn't find out?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Alcohol is where you yeast expect it.
"I'm sorry, but it looks like your roof beams are just infested with termites. We're going to have to tear the whole thing down. It's gonna be 'spensive, hope you've got yer 401k in order."
Yesterday morning(ish) we went for a tour of the Ethanol plant that Erin's Dad runs. We got to wear hard hats, and mine was inspected by someone named "Chuckles," which really made me feel secure. Erin's Dad is a genius, and explained the running of the plant through a pretty excellent digestive system metaphor, which meant there was lots of room for scatalogical humor. We also discussed the nuances of yeast poop, and how it relates to alcohol (ethanol and the kind that you drink as well. Toast up me hearties! Yer tankard be filled with yeast droppings!)
After the plant (which smelled like beer and bread) we went to a local restaurant called the Chubby Pickle. I, of course, had to buy a chubby pickle t-shirt after we had eaten, and had an awkward exchange with the cashier:
After the plant (which smelled like beer and bread) we went to a local restaurant called the Chubby Pickle. I, of course, had to buy a chubby pickle t-shirt after we had eaten, and had an awkward exchange with the cashier:
Cashier: Is that for here, or to go?
Me (holding t-shirt): I'm sorry?
Me (holding t-shirt): I'm sorry?
Cashier: Is that for here, or to go?
Me: Oh, we already ate.
Cashier: YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.
At first I thought she was joking, but I figured if I started laughing it would make things worse. Who knew the Chubby Pickle could be so angry? I wonder if she meant I had to wear the T-shirt in the Chubby Pickle, and the Chubby Pickle alone. (The Chubby Pickle Alone sounds like a book about Adolescent Hygiene).
We went on to Hays, did some shopping, came back and gussied up for the rodeo. The events were the same, but the mutton busting still made me want to die from laughing. If I ever need to cast a patronus (NERD) I would just visualize that. We also saw this one bronc rider dislocate his arm. Ouch.
After the rodeo was the rodeo dance, and while we danced with one corn husker, the rest of the cowboys were too scared by the rock and roll music to kick their heels up. The same band is on again tonight, and hopefully they'll learn some country music so the crowd doesn't ride them out on a rail tonight.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Rodeo Day One: Commentary
The rodeo started about 7:30, beginning with a show by the Prairie Dusters, a ladies' team of trick riders. Next came bare back bronc riding, then some steer roping, some saddle bronc riding, team roping (wink), barrel racing and bull riding. It was rather exhilerating seeing people getting tossed off and trampled by gigantic animals. The cowboys were really impressive (and cute. Also cute) and sometimes there was some big angry bull ambivalence, which cracked me up. The creepy rodeo clowns would try to bait them, and the bulls would be like "would you like to discuss the consequences of the latest debt ceiling deal on Washington?" and the clowns would be like "LOOK I HAVE A STUPID HAT." Unfortunately, nary a clown got gored.
The first night of the rodeo is 'Tough Enough to Wear Pink" night, and Erin's Dad's company gives a dollar for breast cancer research for every person who comes in wearing pink. There were probably about 2500 people, and most were wearing pink. We did a Pass-the-Hat right before the bull riding, and the audience were Lizzie and I were stationed was not very generous. They also had horrible children who had been kicking us in the back all night, so I think it's only fair that we raise the money they didn't donate by holding a "Kick the Small Child" punting contest. I would've anted up to participate--betcha I could've launched one at least halfway across the arena...
The first night of the rodeo is 'Tough Enough to Wear Pink" night, and Erin's Dad's company gives a dollar for breast cancer research for every person who comes in wearing pink. There were probably about 2500 people, and most were wearing pink. We did a Pass-the-Hat right before the bull riding, and the audience were Lizzie and I were stationed was not very generous. They also had horrible children who had been kicking us in the back all night, so I think it's only fair that we raise the money they didn't donate by holding a "Kick the Small Child" punting contest. I would've anted up to participate--betcha I could've launched one at least halfway across the arena...
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