Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Temple Square

We were starving by the time we got to Temple square (which is a huge block of Salt Lake City devoted to all things LDS), so we parked Maudelet, our Toyota Yaris, and walked to the nearest foodage, which was the Olive Garden. You know what was weird about this Olive Garden? It was staffed by and full of Italian people. Do they know it’s a chain? Is this the most authentic Italian you get in Utah? So many questions.

After foodage, we wandered down to the temple/Latter Day Saints visiting area.

So I feel like a bad person saying this, but it was so creepy. The architecture was beautiful, and the history is interesting, but the Saints were all dressed alike, women with blonde hair in mid-calf length skirts and blouses, the men in black slacks and white button-down shirts. They wore name tags, and like all the other Mormons I’ve met were very nice, but then we went into their bookstore, and they were shilling Glen Beck, and I remember how they used massive funding to fund prop 8 in California, and I can’t help but get bad feelings for a religion which aggressively maneuvers for political power and the degradation of basic human rights.  I think faith is an amazing thing, and the sacrifices the early Mormon pioneers made to found their religion could be admirable, but how about not persecuting, ye who have been persecuted.
My soap box. I has one.





Gilgal Garden

I read about this on the internets, and we totally had to go. The place was littered with sculptures, and also an eclectic group of proverbs, quotes and bad poetry (oh noetry!) engraved on stone slabs. There were lots from the bible, the book of Mormon, and oddly the Declaration of Independence and probably someone’s Mom or something. More body parts sculptures, please! Kissies for Joseph Smith!









The Witching Hour

This is something available for purchase from Sky Mall. Did no one tell them their logo looks like sperm? Seriously? Someone needs a new design firm.

Greetings from Salt Lake City!
So right now it’s about 9pm Rocky Mountain time, which is 11pm Eastern Standard Time, and this lady has been up since 3am, Eastern Standard time. The wireless at the place we’re staying is down, so we’ll be publishing this Wednesday morning, but now is the best time to collect my thoughts, before I forget important details, like the creepy strip club we saw that serves free pizza until 7pm. Mmmm! I’ll take half pepperoni, half onion, and all nekkid ladies all the time!

As aforementioned, it’s been a long day. Our flight was at 6:25am (what idiot would book a flight for that ridiculous hour in the morning? Oh, wait, I did that) so I got up at 3, as the car taking us to the airport was picking me up at 4. Sure enough, Harold and his Lincoln town car were waiting for me when I dragged my sorry ass and my awesome suitcase down my windy stairs into the pitch blackness of a Massachusetts OH GOD WHY IS ANYONE AWAKE NOW morning. Ahem. Anyway, we left to pick up Lizzie, and I’ve had a nasty cold for the past few weeks (and if you haven’t flown while congested I definitely recommend it. It felt like someone had replaced my brain with a body builder crushing a squeaky toy. I couldn’t hear for three hours after landing) so I spent the beginning part of the ride trying not to frighten Harold with my hacking cough, and the middle part employing my spectacular female socialization by not embarrassing him by pointing out that he missed his turn about a million times. We got Lizzie by 4:30, and then went to Logan, flew first to Phoenix, and then to Salt Lake City. On the way to Phoenix, the woman sitting next to me was so quiet that I was worried that she was dead, and then I’d be a news story like “Woman sits next to dead passenger and doesn’t even notice!” so I stared at her pretty intently for a few minutes until she felt creeped out enough to wake up and look back at me. Anyway I’m sort of a hero.I have quite a few pictures already, so I’m going to break down our day into several posts so it’s more manageable. Onward to the Gilgal Garden!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Why I will Win the Bear Dance-off


Because I learned my moves from my Grandpa.
Prepare to be told, Bear.

Spooky Tree's Travel Advice

Spooky tree says doooonn't forgettt your usb cable this time...OooOoh! Also snaccccks!

Thanks Spooky Tree! If you want to visit the wise and all-knowing spooky tree, you should go to Moose Hill sanctuary in Sharon. If you want to get lost while there and trip a lot, you should go with me and my sister. Well, friends, Lizzie and I will be heading out bright and early tomorrow for our adventures. We're going to be hitting Utah, Idaho (no, U da ho), Wyoming and hopefully a wee bit of Montana. I, personally, am excited about the potato museum, and also seeing those dancing bears my father used to talk about all the time when my sisters and I would complain about being bored as kids. I assume they live in Yellowstone. I am totally challenging one to a dance off, with the caveat that there is to be no skull-gnawing while the dancing is taking place. Ground rules are important.

You're leaving tomooooorrow at 4am anddddd you still haven't paccckkeed. What's wroonngg with you? Whatttt if you're outttt of somethinnnnggg you'll neeeed to picckkk up at the stoooreee before you goooooo?


Thanks for the lecture, spooky tree, but they have stores in Utah.

Faaaaammouusss lasssst wooorrrddddsss!

It's not like I haven't made a list or anything--I even cleaned my bathroom so if I lose the dance off (I assume the winner gets to kill the loser) my family and friends won't know how long it'd been since I scrubbed my tub...

Isssss itttt goingg to killll you tooooo be preparrrrrred aheaaaad of timeee for onceeeee? Brrrinnggg sun bloocccck....it's 95 degreeesss in Salllt Laaaake. Also bring a sweatshirt. It's 65 degreeeesss in Wyoooming and nooooo onee wants to hearrrr you complaaaain!

Good advice as always, spooky tree. See you in Utah!!

Brrrrinnggg meeee the heeeaddd of Russssh Limbaugh! I shall feast upon his evil and become more powwweerrfulll than ever!!!!


That's rather incongruous. How about a post-card from Idaho instead?

That'd be okay toooooooo.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Battle of the Bands: Important Poll Info

As with any voting situation, it is important to be fully educated about the candidates up for selection. To help you in your decision-making process, I've found the following from the internets. Voting is open until 8/20!

Creed (and friends)


Nickelback



Spindoctors (this video plays at my gym all the time. P.S. Two Princess? Sweet Typo)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Destination 2010 Has Been Selected

Guess where we are going this year!
Hint: This potato will not be smiling when we are done with it and all of its delicious, delicious friends...